Broken Bella Donna

{October 31, 2011}   What do you do?

What do you do when your ex orchestrates a situation to get you alone?

What do you do when he asks – very nicely (in fact in the same tone he asked for a kiss, the first time you kissed) – “Can I please have…?” as he comes at you with his arms open, to envelop you (without permission) in a big hug, and a kiss on the cheek (which was aimed lipwards, and missed due to the reciever deliberately turning her face).

What do you do when he says “I just need to feel a real woman”, as his hands quickly slide to the cheeks of your butt, pulling you towards him and crushing you together.

What do you do after taking hold of and removing his hands from your behind, telling him no and pushing away he repeats this another TWO times, the final time holding you to himself whilst you fling your arms outwards in sacrifice, loudly stating “I’M NOT ENCOURAGING THIS!” (his answer? “I know you’re not.”)

What do you do?

What do you do when he does all this immediately before telling you the only reason he’s still with his wife is it will cost him too much to leave her? What do you do when you know that really, by not slapping him and telling him to fuck off, you really ARE encouraging this? What do you do when deep down, this encounter made you feel good?

I need to tell him to fuck off. If he isn’t prepared to do the right thing, one of us should. But deep down, I’d be lying to myself if I said I’m not enjoying having the attention of a very charming man. Even if he is a sleazy player.


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