Broken Bella Donna

{November 27, 2011}   What is more important?

What’s more important… your dignity and pride, or money?

This is a question I would never have asked myself until recently. Until I started on a massive project that ate all my savings.

I used to have a job… and the boss just up and stopped calling me in. I never knew why. Much later I find out that I evidently overstepped some imaginary, unspecified line. So I will not be called back in.

What I find super dissapointing is that I wasn’t ever notified of my failings, just swept aside.

Instead of blaming the student… perhaps the teacher needs to review themself?

This brings me to my original question: what is more important?

For 99.9% of my life I would’ve said pride and dignity every day of the week. I am a very proud person. I will be damned if I will allow others to treat me poorly, when I have grown up being such a doormat to my own family. And yet a little part of me would go back to work for this person, simply because nearly all my savings are gone, the project is yet to be finished and I am currently out of work with no promising signs on the horizon.

I have a feeling that this is part of being a grown up. And that sucks.


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