Broken Bella Donna

{May 25, 2012}  

Oh boy.

I remember when my spazz attacks were consistent… I always knew what was coming and they panned out roughly the same. Now I have no idea.

The Spazz Inducing Event is coming around again (after tomorrow it’ll be three down, five to go) and it is once again completely different. First time I anticipated worry that never arrived and it went fine, stress free. Second time I anticipated no worries and they arrived and after a brief spazz attack, went fine, stress free. This time I am feeling high strung leading up to the event so who knows what tomorrow morning will bring. Most frustrating.


Upon re reading an old blog the other night, I have discovered that I have turned into a complete sad sack since then and all this blog is just about me whinging and feeling sorry for myself. This has to change. I have to find the happy medium that allows me to use this blog as a stress release, somewhere to sort my thoughts whilst also being positive and trying to improve my thoughts and feelings about myself, and other aspects in life.

SO. I am going to make sure that each entry involves something positive and happy and GOOD in my life. Hopefully.

So right now? I’m feeling positive about my financial situation, because I’m continuing to get work with a friend and I’m also preparing to hopefully get some extra paid work through my old job. Soon I will taking that next step with The Big Project (as soon as the weather permits) which means I’m getting VERY close to doing all the exciting bits, and finalising it. And then I can start saving this poor money earnt instead of spending it – I’ve always tried to keep a reasonable amount of money saved for the proverbial rainy day, but I tell ya, it ain’t looking healthy at the present. But I’ll get there 🙂

Can’t wait until tomorrow night when I can sit back and feel good about everything going smoothly 🙂


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