Broken Bella Donna

{October 14, 2012}  

Got some weird news regarding my health. It turns out I might have an inner ear issue, a life long problem to look forward to. Basically I’ve been given a pat on the head, and told to come back if it does it again.

I dunno how I feel about this.

On one hand… I’m thinking great! Give someone who already suffers from spazz attacks, someone who borderline has a phobia of vomiting and tell them they may just spontaneously start spewing at any given moment, and THEY’LL NEVER KNOW IT’S COMING UNTIL IT’S TOO LATE. Sounds like a guarantee to stay home for the rest of my life. On the other hand… it’s a get out of jail free card. Now if I do it, I can blame a well known health issue that’s acceptable, not hide an unacceptable one. I can stand up in front of people and say No! I can’t do that, I have a health issue, so fuck off and look understanding! Instead of making excuses so I don’t have to say  No! I can’t do that, I have a mental health issue, so back away quietly incase I burst into tears/rotate my head 360 and spew bile/faint/eat your children!

Also there’s the small chance this may make me go deaf in the long term. I don’t like that option much.

There’s also an added symptom that didn’t factor in to this potential diagnosis, that – thanks Dr Google – could indicate much MUCH worse options. That one freaked me out a lil. But I’m going to ignore it. Ignorance is bliss. And if I should’ve paid attention, well I’ll be dead and wallowing in a bucket of Who Gives A Shit Now?

So. Between me and the dog… it must be October!

So life… other than all the aforementioned shit (which hasn’t wigged me out from a spazz attack point of view as much as it probably should’ve) life isn’t so bad.

Homework progressing.

Big project is not.

Dog is asking to go out. Intelligent blog post cut short.


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