Broken Bella Donna

{January 11, 2013}   Hello 2013.

Well. It’s been awhile. I suppose this is a good thing, because this would traditionally indicate that I’m feeling good with life, and haven’t required anywhere to rant, boost myself or get my thoughts in order.

Remember my list of goals for 2012? I do. I thought I’d pop on here and check them out, and see where I got to.

  • To implement better eating  habits – Success – a good start. I ate breakfast MOST of the time and removed some processed foods from my diet, and replaced them with home cooked meals. Winning.
  • To implement better exercise habits –I forecast this would be due for failure, and I was right. Bzzzt.
  • To finish my building project – apparently I was going to “be filthy if I haven’t achieved it.” Filthy it is. I haven’t. I made progress – not nearly enough progress to be frank – but onwards and upwards.
  • To cut back on life’s little stresses and  relax – As much as you can measure this… I think I did. I became less stressed and had a much lesser problem with spazz attacks so… in saying that I did gain a major stress but that was out of my hands.
  • Learn to be happy again – can’t judge this one. I’m not sure my happiness has changed any in 2012. But it hasn’t gotten any worse either.
  • To cut back on a lot of the clutter in my life – nope. Still own too much crap. Got rid of  a little but probably acquired more than I got rid of. Balls.
  • To do the right thing FOR MYSELF, every opportunity I can – another one difficult to judge. I’m feeling a little happier in life, so perhaps?

Do I want to make a list of goals for 2013? Why not. Here’s as good of a place as any, as it permits me to look back on it and see how I go.

  • To continue implementing better eating habits. Breakfast was such as success for 2012 this year I might… hmm… reduce my intake of carbonated drinks. Ugh. This IS doomed for failure. I am a coca cola junkie.
  • To try to shed a few kg. Five sounds like a good number. I am by no stretch of the imagination fat – but I am carrying a few more kegs than I ought to be. I can still wear short shorts but I no longer feel confident in them. I would like to remedy this by next Summer.
  • To finish my building project – again.
  • To complete my current studies, which will prove to be the biggest deal I’ve ever made in my educational steps.
  • To continue working towards my inner calm and happiness, and find my sense of worth. This one can not and will never be able to be judged. It’s just an ongoing job. I have no idea how to go around doing this, but be damned, I’ll work it out.

I think that’ll about do it.

I really want to blog, but I don’t want to wank on for the sake of saying something, and leave some boring mark on here that I’ll look back on later and wonder if I should delete it. And I haven’t got anything really great or interesting or thoughtful to say.

I am not feeling under any undue pressure.

I am not feeling particularly confused about menfolk – or anymore than the regular current that buzzes through my obsessive head, anyway.

I am… I suppose feeling very… me. I don’t know if good may be too strong of  a word when I’m not feeling like shouting from the rooftops, but I am not feeling bad and that is a vast improvement on some days.

Need to amp up the positivity factor!


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