Broken Bella Donna

{June 30, 2014}   Happiness is cause and effect.

I had an epiphany yesterday, one i wanted to get down on paper (so to speak). I’m meant to be doing homework right now – I have my homework mojo and hell, I take that where I can – but I wanted to get this down before I forgot it. I may come back and put it into words better, pretty it up, I may  not. Who knows!

But first I must consult my friend Ms Google to find out the effect vs affect argument. I always forget that one. Yep. No help.

So it dawned on me that happiness is a cause and effect scenario… if you are happy, truely happy about a big thing in life, chances are good your happiness has made someone else unhappy.

I’m not talking happy about the weather, or the laughter of children, your first coffee of the morning etc etc. I’m talking the game breakers.

If you’re rapt because you’re in love with your partner and you’re married or whatever, good for you. But someone else is devastated because they were in love with you or your partner and they’ll never have what you have now. If you’re rapt because you snagged your dream job, that’s awesome, but chances are excellent you’re not the only one who applied for it and someone else missed out, and they didn’t get their dream job. Maybe you won a cruise of a lifetime – shitloads of other people applied too, and they lost. Every time you win, or snag a bargain or get what you want, there’s someone behind you with a sad face that you don’t see for your happiness. That person has to be resilient enough to brush themselves off and try again, and keep trying until they get to BE you. And you’ve been that person too, far more times than you care to remember. Every time you’ve been in the right place at the right time there’s thousands who haven’t been. But the second you become the person who won, you forget all the times you were the person who lost.

I suppose that is for the best. If you stood and thought long and hard about all the people whose happiness you displaced by being happy, it would really kill your buzz. Or at least it would mine.

In saying all this – I can’t complain. Perhaps I haven’t gotten the stereotypical things, I haven’t hit the benchmarks set by society. I haven’t achieved all the things Hollywood tells me I’m supposed to want and I haven’t met my Disney Princess Prince. But I’ve done an immense number of things many others never get to experience and I’ve contributed far more towards my local area than most. I’ve changed the lives of some and made the life better for a small few. I am not hungry or cold, and I have the understanding and knowledge to make a difference, in my life and others. I have my physical health and I am lucky enough to live in a country where I can access what I need to stay this way.

But I come back to – I’ve never got the job. I’ve never got the man. I’ve never won the prize. But I have won the lottery of life and that counts for so much more.


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