Broken Bella Donna

{October 11, 2014}   Exhaustipated.

Feeling a touch spazzy. Not overly, but it’s def there. The proof is in my right shoulder, which is tense and sore.

A culmination of things… the married ex dropped by and was acting inappropriately again, leaving me unsure of myself an insecure in the situation. A yearly event is coming up again that has caused me to spazz every year for the last… well as long as I’ve been involved, I think. And I somewhat stupidly committed myself to help a friend tomorrow with her childs party, which is going to have a ridiculously high number of people at it for a kids party. The key issue being I have no idea what exactly she wants me to do, so I can’t mentally prepare myself. I may be stuck inside washing up all day or I may be running kids party games, who knows? The lack of knowledge makes me nervous. But it’s going to be worth my while, lets say, so that’s a bonus. And laying the ground work for future opportunities…

And I’m exhausted tired from running the house all day plus cooking for tomorrow (I’m helping cater) and wah. I’m irrationally tired. I have no right to be this tired but…. I’m so tired I can hardly sit up straight. I know if I get a solid sleep in tonight I’ll wake up fresh as a daisy and without a care in the world… I have the tablets here I was given for my spazz attacks, but I’m so wary of using them as a sleep aid (which they’re also recommended for) since they didn’t really work for my spazz attacks. That is to say, they just delayed the attack instead of letting me clear it and get past it. I’m wary that they  may have the same affect if I was to try one tonight to sleep. I keep meaning to try one one night as a test when I know I don’t have to go anywhere the next day but… never happens.

Hayfever is kicking my arse big time.

So? Where to from here to cheer up? Or, perhaps brighten up might be a better turn of phrase.

I got the old girl out the other day and took some photos of the lunar eclipse/blood moon. A friend liked one so much she wants a print and she’s willing to pay for it. Score! Must confess, feeling particularly smug about that for reasons.

Studies aren’t progressing as well as I’d hoped but still on track for the year.

Garden is growing and I am Mary Mary quite contrary. Is looking like being a great year so far and I can’t wait to get into cooking with all the lovely fresh produce… hoping to try preserving some more this year. As my life will be changing dramatically (hopefully) within the next 12-18 months I’m trying to learn to live more frugally and to provide for myself, no time like the present to start.

Still no progress on My Big Project but I’ve kinda written that off for a short while until I catch up on other duties.

My fave player for my footy team announced he’s playing on for another season 🙂


  • New customers equal more money
  • Christmas is coming! And I’m over half way thru shopping.
  • Weather is warming up!
  • Freshly washed hair
  • Laying back in bed playing on my tablet
  • Blogging until you feel better…

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